Best villain 3v4r

Minor update on the HK trip. During our shopping run I met the most coolest villain ever in geek culture. I was walking through this barren plain (shopping mall) when I heard it. His anthem, his tune. A melody so memorable it has true jedi knights waking up at night and spooning their pillows. The Imperial March.

My eyes went wide, mind is spinning what the fuck is happening... Darth Vader, formerly known as Anakin Skywalker just walked past me. He had his set of droids with him and I'm glad I didnt bring my lightsabre with me. He could've figured out the amount of midi-chlorians I have and force choke me to death. It didnt happen. I'm just glad I made it and he didnt get me when I was in my ghetto room...

All in all best thing that happened to me so far. When I was a kid all I wanted to be when I would grow up was either Darth Vader or a T-rex. A T-rex sounds pretty dumb right now actually. There is no way I can grow a tail. But growing up to be Darth Vader is still a possibility. He was a dick. I'm a dick. Only thing I need is a mask

Messed up bio-rhythm

It's past 4 AM and Messi just flicked the ball over Almunia, who was helplessly flailing at empty air. Halfway around the world this move has men letting out orgasm-like sounds at the ultimate control and calmness of the best football player in the world right now.

They say the freaks come out at night. I say the freaks are fracking dumb. Really really dumb #antoinedodgsonvoice. They should come out during the day cause the weather is a lot better. But the night has it's good sides and this weekend in HK it was no different.

Van Persie gets his second yellow card for an overrated technical foul. Dont want to get in a debate but he didnt deserve this one. Game is still exciting enough to keep me up especially after an unlucky Barcelona own goal.

In HK we met up with some of my dutch friends and went out for a drink, a dance, a laugh and an empty wallet. HK is expensive as hell for clubbing, thank the heavens from whichever religion you believe in for Club Seven One One. Without it, it's practically impossible to get drunk without spending a small fortune. Well we got drunk anyway and ended up bar hopping. That's when I saw the freaks, chicks in stripperpoles (hot ones and ugly ones), Indian 50cts and puking asians. To the puking asians I would like to say: when you start getting red, stop. Even if its after one sip. You're not built for it.

Barcelona makes 2 goals in rapid succession and this game looks done. Too bad, this game could've been much better if it was still 11 vs 11. I say do-over next year. Thai commentary is getting on my nerves. They scream murder after every single pass from Barcelona and grown men should not behave so giggly.

We spent the night in HK in a hostel that was ghetto asian style. Room was hot and crappy with a huge fan that was about to fall off with every spin that it took. When I went to sleep I just hoped I would wake up with both my kidneys. It was that kind of place. But hey, I survived. No biggie.

The next day we went touring through the city and visited some shops. Yawn, yeah I think that was boring too. It's 6 AM right now and the game is done. 4 more hours til class should be enough for a quick nap and if it isn't enough, there is always the possibility of sleeping in class. I'm good at it. As always.

Specialized in wasting time

I've got 2,5 hours left until my midterm. Those hours will be spent wisely on blogging, browsing and eating, I will make up stuff just so I dont really have to open my books. Ever notice how your room is always so much cleaner when you actually have to study? Yes, we all prefer to clean up our shit instead of studying. Instead of cleaning up today I'll ramble about things that pop up in my head on my blog.

I got this weird habit of learning useless skills. Whenever I see something completely useless that will only waste my time, I want to learn it. Better yet, I need to master it. 

Some off these time-consuming and ultimately unimpressive activities include fixing rubik cubes, magic the gathering and since I've been in China I learned Chinese chess. It's similar to normal chess except you have cannons and elephants. Again, no dragons. The game is good fun even though it lacks certain elements that would've made it better like a chopper gunner or ninja assassin or a free lap-dance. 

Ok nice, I just waisted another 30 minutes. 2 hours left and still haven't bought the book. 

This blogging thing is working out better than I thought. Without any previous writing experience I manage to captivate 15 people a day with utter nonsense. That has always been one of my major goals in life, 150 achievement points earned.

I'm starting to miss my friends from Holland. The buffoonery of hanging out with them has been enjoyable for the past 18 yrs and I just want to say I love you guys, no homo.

But then I hear about all the rain and snow you had to endure for the past weeks while I'm sitting here in my shorts and t-shirts, enjoying the sun and smoking cheap cigarettes. Feeling pretty blessed right now. 

My little brother's birthday is coming up this week. If for some unknown reason you've liked my posts, I would certainly recommend you following his twitter @datdoggiedanny . He most certainly is the funny one in the family and that is quite an accomplishment, since I'm from the same family.

I think I've wasted enough time for now. Time for me to get some food. Next time I'll tell you a joke about how my friend made her roommates cry. And I'm going to HK this weekend so I might have some stories to tell. Considering that last time was pretty fun, I keep wondering what karma has in store for me this weekend.

And we will never speak of it again...

Those who have me on facebook probably read that I had a bet going on with one of my Canadian friends. Yesterday was the culmination of this high publicized event but let me inform you why this bet came to fruition.

Alex is one of my Canadian friends and he is a nerd. He goes to the library or computer room every single day and studies. What he studies no one knows but he is there until 3 am sometimes and he never hangs out anymore. Alex has basketball experience (he was on his basketball team!) but says he hasn't been playing for years (not true).
I can never be found in or near a library. Drag me in there and I have no idea how it works. What do you do in a library that you cant do anywhere else like home? I know you cant talk loud in a library so why would anyone want to go there? I have no basketball playing experience whatsoever (I watch a lot and played a lot of nba2k so I considered myself an expert. In reality it is a lot more different.)

For some dumb reason I figured I could beat Alex, dont ask me why but obviously this wasn't true. It was a tight game, but in the end Alex's luck found its way to the basket. I am not ashamed to say Alex beat me fair and square except I'm still better.

After basketball I had jumped enough and proceeded to check out the football cage next to our spot. To say that I was impressed was a lie, because the level of play was not very high. I joined them a few games later and killed all of them. They might still be dizzy from all my high speed moves, not unexpected. I bet I was in some of their nightmares last night wearing a cape. Yes, a cape.

The idea is to go work out more often in these places cause its free and we had a lot of fun. I'll have to learn playing basketball and maybe at the end of the semester me and Alex can have a rematch. As they would say in very cheesy tv-series: To be continued... (play sinister music)

Me vs infection. Timmy 1 - Infection 0

Last week I had pain in my jaw, which I figured would just be over in a few days but on Wednesday last week it evolved. Changed. It reached a level and became an absolute monster in my mouth. My jaw froze up and I couldn't move it without squinting my eyes because of the pain. Eating was particularly painful but ultimately necessary, painful as it was it tasted delicious. I literally was on the verge of crying after my food. Naturally I didn't cry, because I can't. 

The next step in my fight against the pain was painkillers. I used them. Swallowed a bunch of Finnish paracetamol and it didn't work. Dont know if it was because of the pills being from Finland or that I'm immune against painkillers, but my jaw felt like a little alien was inhabiting it and would burst out at any second. Painkillers was obviously not an oeuf. 

Hospital was the next option but since I have played a lot of theme hospital in my younger years I was very weary of going to one. I did needed to get checked out though so we stopped a cab and he didnt understand us. No one knows how these taxi drivers make a living but they dont understand shit! You talk in English and say "Hospital" or "Doctor" or "Happy Ending" and they will not understand. If you say either "Casino" or "Massage" they will have you in one of those buildings (sometimes same building) before you can count to one. Now on the other hand if you speak in Chinese to them, they will not know the adress. No matter if it is the biggest fracking street in Macao or Taipa, they will not know it. I just wonder if they took the job as a way to annoy people, which would be awesome cause you get payed and can screw people over at the same time! Show me another job where you can do that and I'll buy you dinner. 

Anyway the hospital had a registration window and there was a unhappy girl there. She made me unhappy too when I had to answer all her questions even when I said that talking hurt. She proceeded by asking more questions. I guess that is routine for a receptionist. If my leg was broken she would've asked me to run 5 miles and then come back. The doctor checked out my jaw after the receptionist was done torturing me. He pressed my jaw so hard I thought I gave birth. Still no tears. The tears did well up when I figured there were no hot nurses. That was my cue and I needed to leave that place. Fortunately anti-biotics were cheap and they gave me a shitload of painkillers. I slept well that night. 

The scorecard in the title is wrong actually. It doesn't reflect my struggles but it accurately displays the winner though which is me. Moral of the story is that if an infection shouldn't pick a fight with me, you shouldn't either. I always win.

Chinese New Year: Warzone Macao

First of all, Chinese New Year (CNY) is dangerous. No joke. If you do not have the necessary skills such as dodging, running, screaming (manly) and taking shots (photo) you should not be near China during this period of the year. This is a man's world, so take your baby face and self delusion in football to the nearest kindergarten. 

I've seen my share of fireworks in Amsterdam. When you're younger you do stupid things with fireworks you know you shouldn't do but the Chinese just take it to a whole new level here. They have these designated areas where they sell and set off fireworks. Which in theory controls it a bit but they must have underestimated the sheer amount of people that want to fire some rockets. 

Lets start with the obvious things. Try to store and sell fireworks 50 meters from the place where everyone sets their fireworks on fire. Antoine Dodgson would say: You are really dumb, fo real.

Another thing is the mere mass of people in such a small (explosive) area will surely present dangerous situations. People carrying boxes full of fireworks. Millions of rockets set of at the same time and they are not the rockets your neighbor in Holland sets off with a little bang (no exclamation intended) (actually, try to whisper 'bang'). Noooo sir. These were huge fracking rockets! Their explosions damage your hearing and fill your hair with ash. And they had different colors too!! I <3 blue -_-!! Back to the example. Yes once in a while the rockets would set of other boxes or not go high in the air enough causing dangerous situations. Rockets were flying past my head left and right and were I a weaker man I would've been hit at least once. I yelled: Yeo, evade! And didn't get hit once.

Apart from the exciting feel of terror that surrounded you in that place of mutilation and unintentional deafness, the fireworks were awesome to look at. Seriously I saw fireworks in star-shape, round-shaped with a extra circle wrapped around it and different colors! It was impressive to see so much different kinds of firework. I lit up some rockets too and after that played with children's fireworks. They seemed pretty harmless to me and I never underestimate my keen ability to screw things up. 

The holiday is over now and were back to class. I actually have to do stuff for school now and it is not making me happy...

Used my stupidity credit yesterday on trying to pee and brush my teeth at the same time. I recommend to anyone who is curious not to do it.

I'm still here

Karma hates it when you have fun

You doing good when you got haters - Cant fracking remember who the frack said this

Karma is a hater of mine and she's such a nasty -bleep-. 

Hong Kong was terrific this weekend. It's like a mistress. You cant have a proper relationship with her because but every once in a while you can have a lot of fun with her. Same for Hong Kong, its probably not for me to live there but a weekend each month is perfect.

I met up with some friends from Holland in HK and they took us to an all you can drink place for 250 hkd. Loved the place. Definitely should try and find it again, because LKF is pretty expensive. Unless you have a lifetime membership card at Club seven-one-one.

Karma hated I had a good time in HK. I was sick for week after that weekend and I'm still not 100%.

This post has been in my posting section for 3 weeks now. I figured it might grow into something better if I would give it some time. However blogging doesn't work that way.

I've got more stories to tell, they'll show up in the next few days!!!

If you want to see pictures on my blog you should keep waiting!